The ripple effect: Promoting mental health is a family affair

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One simple truth about families is that sooner or later, every family member will likely face hard times. A child might deal with bullying, a spouse might face a life-changing illness, or a grandparent may struggle to adjust after retirement. Such challenging events can lead to mental health concerns. Indeed, each of us can face mental health problems at times, even without a major event prompting them. The same is true of our family members. And, when they hurt, we often hurt too. Yes, mental health is a family affair.

Importantly, when a family member is struggling with their mental health, it isn’t their fault or a sign of weakness or failure. Additionally, there are things they can do to feel better and ways in which family members can help. In fact, when one person gets mental health care, the whole family can feel positive, enduring changes. This is an example of a “ripple effect.”

What is the ripple effect?

The ripple effect occurs when the impact of an event spreads outward. Imagine dropping a stone into a calm pond. The splash makes ripples that spread all over. Similarly, when one family member gets mental health care, the benefits can spread outwards, helping the whole family feel better. Often, these small positive changes now can lead to big improvements later.

While the ripple effect starts with the person getting care, all family members can help spread the positive effects. The specific positive changes can vary based on who in the family gets mental health care.

The ripple effect when kids and teens get care

When kids and teens get mental health support, it can lead to positive changes for the whole family, including:

Reduced caregiver stress. When kids with mental health challenges start feeling better, their caregivers often feel better too. Caregivers tend to worry less, better understand how to help, and feel more hopeful about their child’s future.
More time and attention for all family members. When one child’s challenges are addressed, caregivers often have more time and energy for other kids and/or each other. Siblings and adults tend to feel closer and more supported.
More ease and energy for caregivers. With their child feeling better, caregivers often have more time and energy. Hobbies, relaxation, and daily tasks can feel more doable. Having more time for themselves can reduce compassion fatigue.

Example case study: Mira, age 7

To show the ripple effect of a child getting mental health care, imagine seven-year-old Mira, who was dealing with anxiety. Mira often refused to go to school, complaining of stomach aches. Related to this, her blended family also experienced:

More conflict between Mira’s mom and stepparent, as they disagreed on whether to push her to attend school or soothe her anxiety by letting her ‌stay home. They also grew more distant, as they had little time or energy to give each other.
Greater stress at work, as morning arguments over her school attendance made it harder for her parents to get to work on time. They sometimes had to miss work to stay with her, and their worries about Mira led to trouble focusing at work.
Less time and attention for Mira’s older brother, who ended up missing some homework and being quieter than usual. He also became more irritable with Mira, often picking on her.

Mira’s parents decided to find her a therapist who could help her (and them) feel better. In therapy, Mira learned ways to relax, worry less, and slowly face her fears about going to school. Mira’s therapist also helped her parents strengthen their parenting and communication skills. In time, the positive ripple effect of Mira’s care unfolded:

Mira started going to ‌school regularly, free from morning stomach aches. Her grades improved, and she started playing with her classmates at recess.
Mira’s parents used the communication skills they learned with each other, helping them fight less and feel closer. They were also better able to concentrate at work.
As Mira’s brother got more attention from his parents, he began acting more like his talkative self, was more patient with Mira, and no longer missed assignments.

The positive impact of Mira’s care lasted after her therapy ended. Her family kept using the skills they learned, especially Mira’s mom, who realized she too was experiencing some anxiety. They proactively addressed new anxieties, celebrated milestones, and sought more support when needed. The whole family felt better able to navigate life’s challenges together.

The ripple effect when adults get care

When adults take care of their mental health and seek care, it can create positive changes for other adults and/or kids in the family, including:

Stronger bonds and parenting skills. When adults take care of their mental health, we’re often more present, patient, and supportive. This can help families feel closer, fight less, and limit conflict between partners, which benefits kids. When parents prioritize their mental health, we often parent better, too. Improved mental health can make it easier to be consistent, thoughtful, and calm amidst parenting stressors.
Improved mental health for kids. When adults address their own mental health challenges, we become better role models for kids. Getting care as a parent lowers the chances that our kids will experience mental health challenges. In fact, kids whose parents have untreated mental health concerns are at higher risk of having mental health conditions themselves.
Calmer, more productive households. Adults who get mental health support learn better ways to deal with stress. This makes it less likely we’ll use unhelpful coping skills, like alcohol or anger outbursts. Better coping skills can lower stress for the whole family and show kids how to cope with their own challenges. Mental health support can also improve adults’ energy, making it easier to help with chores and join family activities.

Example case study: Rowan, age 47

To illustrate the ripple effect of an adult getting care, imagine 47-year-old Rowan, who was feeling depressed. For many months after the death of a childhood friend, Rowan had trouble sleeping, was often grumpy, and had little energy. The family was also experiencing:

More distance and tension with Rowan’s partner, who felt Rowan was pushing her away.
More tantrums and trouble with transitions for their toddler, who wasn’t getting as much quality time with Rowan as usual.
Greater stress and worry from Rowan’s mother, who lives with them and had to help more with childcare and chores.

Rowan decided to seek support and found a therapist for help with grief and depression. In therapy, Rowan found ways to cope with grief, challenge negative thoughts, and get more active. Rowan also learned better ways to open up and ask for help. The ripple effects of Rowan’s care unfolded over time:

Rowan and his partner felt closer and talked more openly, allowing for more pleasant interactions.
Rowan’s toddler had more playtime and regular routines, which led to fewer tantrums.
Rowan’s mother had more time to rest because Rowan was helping more with childcare and chores.

The positive changes from Rowan’s coaching continued after care ended. Rowan’s family felt closer, better understood each other’s challenges, and communicated better. When Rowan was under increased pressure at work ‌the following year, he kept using the skills he learned to manage his mood.

Supporting family members’ mental health care

The examples above show how helpful it is for families to support each other’s mental health. Booking an appointment is the first step. Another important part is family support for care, which can include:

Challenging mental health stigma. Getting help for emotional struggles is just like going to a medical doctor when we’re sick. We can support our loved ones by recognizing that mental health challenges are normal and talking openly about feelings. Bringing these topics out of the dark and into the light reduces shame. Learning more about mental health care can also help.
Providing logistical support. Caregivers can help with scheduling, transportation, or access to a computer for telehealth. Partners can help by taking on child care, meal prep, or making sure their partner has privacy for telehealth appointments.
Talking to kids’ therapists. Caregivers often participate in meetings with their child’s therapist to learn and build skills. It can help to attend these sessions with an open mind. It isn’t always easy to hear feedback about our parenting skills. Taking notes during these meetings and reflecting afterwards can help.
Learning and trying new skills. We can support our loved ones’ therapy by learning about their treatment and practicing new skills together. This might involve the whole family trying new communication strategies or coping skills.
Being patient and kind. Progress isn’t always linear, and change can feel hard. People getting care can go through ups and downs. Also, when one family member makes changes (even good ones), the whole family often adjusts too. We can all help by being patient and kind to ourselves and our loved ones.
Getting support when a loved one won’t. It can be incredibly difficult when a family member who’s struggling with mental health won’t seek care. Although we can encourage them to seek care, we can’t force them to, which is often difficult to accept. Seeking care for ourselves can help us cope and manage our distress.

Importantly, supporting family mental health involves more than just mental health care. There are things we can all do to promote our family’s mental health.

Additional ways to strengthen family mental health

Outside of treatment, families can strengthen their mental health in many ways, including:

Prioritizing healthy living as a family. Families can boost their well-being by making healthy choices as a team. This can include eating nutritious meals, being active, and getting enough sleep.
Showing compassion for challenges. Showing kindness and listening without judgment when someone’s struggling creates supportive relationships. This can also involve temporarily giving more of oneself when a family member needs more support. Expressing compassion for all people facing difficulties can also help.
Using effective communication. This involves validating feelings, which means telling someone that their feelings make sense, given the circumstances. Effective communication also involves using skillful language for setting boundaries, such as making requests, saying no, and expressing needs.
Scheduling family check-ins. Scheduling check-ins (dedicated times to talk as a family) gives everyone a chance to share their feelings and needs. It’s a great way to problem-solve, practice communication skills, and prevent small issues from snowballing. Consider ending each check-in with a reward like ice cream.
Creating a family mission statement. When families know what’s important to them, they often feel closer and work better together. Creating a family mission statement can be a fun way to identify shared values, like “Be kind, curious, and adventurous.”
Establishing comforting family traditions. Family routines and rituals can help everyone feel more connected. For example, “Sunday Night Supper” or “Friday Movie Night” can create positive memories and provide a strong base for facing challenges together.

Our Under the Hat mental health partners offer care for the whole family

Recognizing how one family member’s care can benefit the whole family highlights the power of seeking support. If you, or a dependent in your family, might benefit from mental health care, support is here for you. Start your ripple effect today with the support of our mental health providers at your side.